Dude! You're Gettin' a New Job!

You all remember this douchebag, don't you? Yeah, you do... "Hey Dude! You're getting a Dell". First things first; Fuck you. There... We've waited years to say that. Secondly, New York Magazine has decided to do an interview with the guy now that he's moved on to bigger and better things... serving tables. I remember when these commercials first came out about 4 or 5 years ago and we were dating this really slutty single mother (Oh, it was awesome...). Anyway, her stupid bratty little kid was all "Mom, I want a Dell! The Autistic kid on TBS says that I'm getting a Dell! I WANT A FUCKING DELL!". Of course, this wasn't cool with us 'cause we knew damn well that if that kid was getting the Dell we weren't going to be able to continue to live for free on her couch; which would have sucked. So we told the kid that we had talked to his Dad and that he had said that HE would buy him the Dell. Ha! 8 year-olds are so stupid huh? Aren't they? I know! I know!... The kid actually believed us! We then bribed him with bumper-car passes so that he'd shut-up about it to his Mom. That worked too! We're extremely smart. Anyway, the stupid little rug rat never did get his Dell, but we got to keep living for free in that sweet townhouse. Then we got drunk and called the house from the convenience store and said that we were his Dad and that we didn't love him anymore. We also broke the news that he wasn't getting his Dell. Worked like a charm. You guys get all that down? She kicked us out soon after, but shit, that was like, at LEAST 4 or 5 free months rent. I also stole her VCR. She was a bitch anyway.

No comments: