There are Really Some Things You Should Never Be Able to Do...

LIKE LOSE 530 pounds... Jesus Christ... It's in your best interest to follow this link to an article where a woman loses 530 pounds by talking on the internet all day long. Really? So... We really think the larger point here is that some woman lost 530 pounds and didn't break the immutable laws of the physical universe by disappearing three times over. We almost want to congratulate her, but you know how those fat people are with the ever-influx weight issues... she'll put that 530 pounds back on like she's in a time warp. Look! She's already started! She'll be through that cake in no time (Note: We have no idea if this is the woman, but she sure is a whole lot of one. We suspect the two look similar and we've always been ones for broad and sweeping generalizations. Yes. Even when it comes to obese women, we're fair and equitable like that. Call it our good nature). Yeah, like, the Internet was a good idea and all, but crack is so much more effective. And proven. There's a lot to be said about a track record. She may even get laid one day when her ample body is all there is to pay the dealer. Oh, who am I kidding... we can dream though, can't we?

No comments: