Christmas at Our House...

It's been a few days since we've posted, but we've good reason; It's Christmas! We've attached a video for you all to enjoy of our Christmas morning celebration with the kids and Grandpa stumbling in drunk. Don't feel sorry for us even though we had to replace the hinges on the trailer door. Let this be a lesson to all of you. When Grandpa comes rolling through the door drunker than a seaman on shore leave at 9:00am, you'd better be thankful that he passed out early last night and was able to get his drinking in early this morning, 'cause he's bearing gifts and goddamn it if there's a time earlier than that and if you think that drunken clod spent 65 years of his life drinking and impregnating unsuspecting women for the hell of it, you're wrong. He did it to see his grandsons open gifts and when you get to the point where you can't even stand your own company without the help of your old friend Jack, maybe then you'll understand how much some company can mean to you. As it stands, Jack is also one of our oldest friends, and maybe that's coincidence and maybe it's not, but frankly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and at least we've devised no fewer than 14 excuses as to why that whiny little fetus isn't ours. Mostly because after a little math with our piece of shit calculator that doesn't calculate anything but dollars and cents we've reached the conclusion that having kids is goddamn expensive and although we've heard of some intrinsic benefit, we're naturally skeptical and overly so because we've yet to see a kid that dispenses Whiskey rather than drinks ours.

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